Something has been bothering me far a while, but sometimes I'm too stubborn to admit it. I don't want to reopen old wounds but I need to kind of bring up some old stuff. I want to cut and paste this little tidbit I posted a few weeks back:

Well I propose a forum here at SWMgamers.com, that you can only join by application. Yes I know how elitest it is, but the amount of stupid forum over there really isn't cute anymore.Maybe a hall of famers forum, where we can invite people of our choosing into the forums. THere has to be a place where I can talk to grown ups.


A lot of the ideas I have and a lot of the things I say are because I’m bored at work. I was on my way home yesterday and I was thinking about this post, and about what a douche bag thing it was to say. I think a lot of my attitude lately had stemmed from the “great wars” of WOTC earlier this year, with all the HOF controversy, and all the nonsense with the VCLS. I felt like a line was being drawn, and I had to take a side. But the fact of the matter, all my best friends in this game and in these forums are people that aren’t hall of famers, and they aren’t “insiders” with the company. And they love Star Wars above perceived status in a community.

What bothers me more about this statement in retrospect, is that I said something representing a group of people(the HOF) that didn’t need me speaking on there behalf.

I owe this community (Gamers, AND WOTC) a huge debt of gratitude, for giving me fuel for a creative outlet that has given me a sense of purpose in a time when I’ve felt very lost. I owe this entire community (insiders and outsiders) much more than I can ever pay back. Implying that there needs to be a HOF forum, and or an “invite only” forum was a stupid statement, and I’ve alienated several people because of it.

One thing I always forget is that there’s a lot of kids who play this game (a game that involves little spacemen on a map, go figure). I always just assume that everyone playing is a white male age 34, and that we’ve all been playing since 2004-2005. And I should know better. Everyone has something to say, and it’s not my place to judge what’s relevant and what’s not relevant.

So I ask, Elitists, Hall of Famers, VCL's, Noobs, kids, grown ups, Competitive players, and Casual players to forgive me. I know I've alienated some really great people.

Very Respectfully,

Matthew Francella

"True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive." ~Mignon McLaughlin

"Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift." ~Margaret Lee Runbeck

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything." ~Lynn Johnston

I have always heard that it take a big man to admit a mistake but an even bigger man to apologize for an error.

Water under the bridge.

Peace.

A lot of us spout off crap all the time, and none of it ever really means much of anything. Don't sweat it.

Haha. Yep, what Dennis said. In fact, I did just that last night with some friends, and will be spending time this evening apologizing to them. No worries man.

I think a big part of what I am trying to do is getting back to what's so special about this game to me. And the most important thing to me is the friendships that are formed. Being part of something special like the gaming community, and i think I've lost sight of that.

I feel like I've got caught up lately in so many projects, that iI've completley forgotten why I do all these projects, and try to get people involved. At somepoint I used to do this all for honest to goodness, bettering the game. Now I don't knw how pure my motives are, but I feel like its status driven.

So basically, what I'm saying is I'll supply the maps. And let everyone else do the other stuff. Although I will continue my never ending struggle to bring competetive pla to my area, as well as hope for a day when epic play will be a reality.

It's all good. Accepting responsiblity for ones own words and actions always makes someone worthy of acknowledgement. And if it is is the admitance of an error it makes one worthy of respect.